I never wanted to have kids. But lately, I’ve been warming to the idea. The idea of making sacrifices for someone else. The idea of loving someone more than myself. The idea of caring for someone, of investing my entire existence into their success. Maybe it is through this ultimate sacrifice that one finally unlocks the secrets to love and happiness.
But I also fear it. Not because of what I would have to give up, but because of the suffering that I might impose on them by creating a new human experience. No one chooses to be born, and some people proclaim that they hate having been brought into existence. Me personally, I am indifferent. I have been granted a human experience and I intend to get the most out of it. But I don’t know what my child would feel. Maybe they would be dumber than me, and they would just enjoy life, make many friends, and have loving relationships, without all the existential questions that plague me. But maybe they would suffer immensely, and I would be the direct cause of that suffering.
However, there is one major reason for procreation. Perhaps the strongest reason to do anything. From an evolutionary perspective, the only purpose humans have is to procreate. And by extension, this could be the only purpose we have whatsoever. If there is no God, then whatever we do with our lives serves no function, and the only reason we exist is because of our parents’ drive to bring us into this world. So if you, like me, tend to believe in nothing, then perhaps this is the absolute truth that absolves us.
It really is a struggle to me as well, I feel like none of the ways we are expected to behave and express ourselves are actually catering to our own needs and feelings, I think that is a fundamental struggle for anyone who’s got some wits to them.