Both my mom and a woman in my class sent me the same article about giftedness today. I was diagnosed as highly gifted as a child, but I never really knew about all the negative sides it came with. To me, it feels weird thinking that something that sounds so positive (yet so arrogant to say about yourself) could have such a negative effect on me as well.
My crippling perfectionism, my emotional intensity and instability, my loneliness, the idea that I might be a narcissist, all could just be the result of my high giftedness.
When I started up my autism and ADHD diagnosis, I said that being diagnosed as highly gifted was what held me back from ever thinking I could have autism and ADHD. But maybe my mom was right, and I’m just highly gifted.
Honestly, if this is the case, then the solution is pretty simple: I just need to go looking for other people like me. I think I’ve found one such person at school, and I think my friend Louis is one such person as well. But I’ll need many more if I want to feel stimulated and connected. I’ve always kind of shunned other intelligent people because of the idea that they were boring nerds, and by extension, so was I. But really, nerds are usually the most interesting people of them all, and this prejudice about smart people has kept me from being myself and from connecting with others.
Whatever happens with the diagnosis, I know I have a way forward now.